An Italian Birthday Dinner

We were excited to be included as guests and because we have traveled in Italy before, we were not surprised that the birthday dinner was scheduled to begin at 9:30 pm. Partially this is because their restaurant was operating on a regular night and they had to take care of other diners, but by Italian standards, 9:30 pm is not an unusual hour to eat dinner. We sat at 2 large tables connected in an L shape, and we were surrounded by approximately 30 family members and a handful of close friends. Fortunately, we speak good enough Italian that Mark and I both conversed with the people sitting on either side of us. We were interested to notice that couples were not necessarily sitting together. Many of the women sat at one end of the table with some of the younger children, and the men seemed clustered together further down. No one seemed concerned that young children were up past their bedtime, but school had not started yet.

We were surprised that the birthday honoree helped set up the table, rearranging little plates, bringing silverware and napkins, and delivering large plates of prosciutto and melon and various types of crostini (toasted bread with various toppings.) We didn’t feel right that it was her party and she was waiting on us, but everyone else just kept eating and it all seemed quite normal. Later, the guest of honor finally sat down and other waiters brought out platters of steaming homemade gnocchi with truffles and gnocchi with 4 cheeses and some kind of ham. Next came paper thin roast beef slices with gravy, and paper bags filled with typical Tuscan bread which is made without salt and has a crunchy crust. Accompanying the beef was chopped green lettuce and sliced red radicchio dressed in vinegar and local olive oil. Our Polish friend thoughtfully brought me some pecorino cheese with honey and jam since I don’t eat meat. It was amazing to me how aware she was of pleasing her guests despite the fact that we were celebrating her birthday.

It was nearing midnight and we could not quite tell what we were waiting for, so we thought about leaving. Our intuition told us to stay, and then we sensed the excitement in the air as Mamma took off her cooking cap and brought out little plates for the “torta” (cake). Our friend shared her birthday cake with a 17 year old relative who had had a birthday several days before. Both blew out the candles and there was lots of picture-taking, which included various sets of family members and friends. Finally the cake was served, and it was delicious-a type of tiramisu type of cream with a thin layer of fruit jam on a large chocolate cake.

When I asked my friend casually what we had been waiting for, she sweetly explained that her birthday was not really until the next day, so of course we could not serve the cake before midnight because it would not really count as a true birthday celebration. She did not seem overly concerned that their little 18 month old was still wide awake because so many family members had been looking after him. Shortly before the cake arrived, she did start passing him around to give and receive kisses so he could be put to bed shortly after the cake was cut. Although the baby was really young, he was completely at home with being passed around to the huge group, eagerly kissing men and women goodnight. No one was concerned about the time of night, and certainly no one seemed worried about germs, so we all buy into  cultural beliefs about various things in life. Are your beliefs contributing to your joy and delight or are they holding you back in some way? Let’s be aware that our thoughts help create our reality. Here’s to birthdays and celebrating life! Viva la vita! Tanti Auguri, Sabina! (Best Wishes)